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Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

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I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROC UTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!

______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _____________ SHORT-ANSWER SECTION: Answer by filling in the blank.

______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

___________________________________________ Signature (that means sign your name) Thank you for your interest. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

__________ If NO, explain________________________________________________________ Number of years married________ If less than your age, Explain________ ________________________________________________________________ Do you own a van? Leaving premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised. _______________________ Condoms come in packages of A: 3 B: 6 C: 9 D: 12 E: ALL OF THE ABOVE (circle one) I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS. A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be: ______________________________________________________________ B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________ C: A woman's place is in the: ______________________________________________________________ D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________ E. ___________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is: ______________________________________________________________ F. __________________ I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE. ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ REFERENCES SECTION: Church you attend ___________________________________________________ How often you attend ________________________________________________ When would be the best time to interview your: father? Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.) _______________________________________________________________Mother's Signature & Father's Signature _______________________________________________________________Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Please allow four to six years for processing.APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. ) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: ______________________________________________________________C.

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