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A date is like an inquiry, it is a question that asks “what could we explore or be together?”; and when we can hold that inquiry in spaciousness, openness, and curiosity, without attachment to a specific outcome, then we have the chance to enjoy the dance of unveiling ourselves to each other.

So, at some point during our date, we might ask the other if they want to play a game with us.

Most people perk up at the idea of a game because it usually means fun is to be had.

It is at this point—after relaxing into the acknowledgment that we are here on this date simply to get to know each other more—we can bring in a few intentional relational practices or games.

The first game in this series that I would like to introduce is called “Curiosity.” Curiosity is a simple game, and really only an extension of what occurs organically on a date when we are naturally curious about the person we are with…

Generally, our authentic self is what the people who are really right for us are going to be attracted to; so, giving space for both our date and ourselves to bring that out early on is going to allow us to quickly see what the possibilities are between us.

Before we go too much further into these games though, I would like to define what I consider a “date.” To me, a date is nothing more than an intentional meeting between two individuals with the potential for romance.They aren’t obligated to answer, answer fully or even answer truthfully; just like in all life, they have a choice.This choice and how willing they and we are to be vulnerable and open is of course going to play a significant role on where any future relationship may develop. Having a time set, and even using a phone as a countdown timer, is a good idea.We play Curiosity by first introducing it to our date.For me, I’ve done a lot of work to cultivate my curiosity, so I tend to already be asking questions, even somewhat edgy questions, from very early on.Being within the construct of a game is a fun opportunity to push those edges just a bit and expand our capacity to be with the intense sensations of vulnerability and intimacy.

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