Heart to heart dating

This book was written to help you experience more delightful ones and fewer rude awakenings.

Increasingly, relationships aren't working out as they should.

According to the imago theory, people unconsciously choose spouses with the specific, familiar personality traits of their early caretakers, in order to return to the scene of the original childhood hurt and frustration.

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Head to Heart: What To Know Before Dating and Marriage By Gila Manolson Targum Press, Inc.

Southfield, MI, 2002 175 pages Reviewed by Bayla Sheva Brenner For most of my adult years I lived as a single frum woman–a mountainous challenge.

D., who introduced the idea that romantic attraction stems from an individual’s search for his or her imago–a Latin word meaning image.

One’s imago is a composite picture of the people who influenced one’s life most strongly during his early years.

Some days I scaled the mountain, most days I hung on.

Flicking the light switch off each night served the heftiest challenge.

Manolson sees the dating period as essential preparation for marriage, and challenges the secular view of “experiential dating” which has seeped into the community.

“…Dating may teach you how to date, but won’t teach you how to be married, and the illusion that it does can be harmful.” She clearly lays out the requirements one must bring to a good marriage, starting with a “healthy, adult personality” which includes maturity, autonomy, self-esteem, trust, the capacity for emotional intimacy and self-knowledge.

Fortunately, you can avoid most of these troubles if you approach dating and marriage as you would any other major undertaking: with preparation.

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