Milf uk late night chat phone punk dating aberdeen wa ivel 29

Not a day goes by when we're not asked for a picture of that fella ummm.., not Hannibal or Murdoch, not B. But seriously discretion is a must, i mean my mum would kill me if she saw me on here, and my mum may know your mum then we're both f**ked.. , they're nice people honestly, no mother, don't make me do that mother...) We like the odd glass of wine but not "drinkers" so if you feel the need to get shit arsed and rat faced (or worse? You're all 100% right, we havn't said what we ARE after only what we're NOT after.. (Yes actually..) Shit i've even started responding to my own rhetorical questions. Plus no messages from "ladies" who pee standing up and also do engine work on Bmw's.. (you won't btw..) If you think we're unduly moaning then take a look at some of the bloody messages we get.. Please no more msgs where a fella thinks he's Jackie Collins and trying to come across all poetic or starts it with " Picture the scene, we're in a hotel room, the light catches your..." Its just a load of copied and pasted shite. We prefer neatly trimmed too so all you Wookies out there (last one, promise! Dig that birth certificate out too, how old are you really?

Well we would like to meet a late thirties/early forties LOCAL as in nearby and sort of close to us and not too far away married couple (not a single guy with access to a "lady" at weekends) whose relationship pre-dates the ipod with unrestricted views of their genitalia and similar preferences and experience as ourselves for some hotel bedroom antics,(not young duracell bunnies that want to bang away all night, we're 43 you know, we've been moaning when we have to kneel down and groaning when we have to get back up for years) and we would like to meet socially to start with as one of us is very nervous (and a bit shy! Blame my mum, i can still hear her now ..." DONT TALK TO STRANGERS ", but mother why? (idiot..) We don't have SKYPE either, blimey if i had a penny for every time we were asked.. Please read our age range/sexual preferences for replies before sending a message or wink as getting one from J R Hartley really was the last straw (and he wasn't after a copy of Flyfishing) . And apologies for me keep putting short sentences in brackets,(i'm trying to stop and i'm doing brilliant so far) but you may also find yourself doing it involuntarily if you read it all.. Just read Fabs version of what cuckolding means then deleted it from our preferences immediately!!! Don't ask for a polite no to your message (you will anyway) as i don't think there is a polite way to say no as it always takes offence!! After updating our pics it takes an age sorting the shit from the shinola. Said couple retired shortly after (was it something we said? Turns out 67%* of people that do are a lot older than they think (*made up statistic).

Sat in a pitch black car park watching scruffy old blokes pull up in bangers, and i mean old.

Milf uk late night chat phone-54

As for all those poor guys that have had an accident with the Super Glue and the Sky remote/Tape measure/Stella can/Lynx can (Africa of course)/X-wing fighter/picture of their grandmother/ stuck to their penis', you really need to get that looked at. All this 'my master lets me' rubbish, those scary black masks with little silver zip-holes? Or messages from couples where the fella cross dresses and you can't tell which is which, (surprisingly more often than you think)..

We're not into any weird shit either, padlocks on the penis? Dogging's not for us either, oh we used to go regularly but never again.

) and any institutions using this site or its associates for projects, you do not have permission from us to use any of our profile pictures in any form or forum both current and future.

If you have or do it will be considered a violation of our privacy and will be subject to legal action.. WARNING: This profile either in its entirety or any part there of including photographs must not be copied, quoted or used by any person, institution, company or agency.

When you send us a message stating you want to meet us and NOW, even though your pics are fucking ' 'orrible and we don't jump at the chance then we must be eh?

To: Sydney university (what is it with you Aussies?

Right then put the kettle on and remember no-one made you read it (this is not the profile you're looking for..... "UPDATE 1" After a short break we are now back and running a revised service. We did consider being a separate room, non-swap, non-touching, non-kissing, "what the f**k you looking at? And for those that are concerned we are a mixed race couple (Me the breast stroke, Suzie the egg and spoon) so if that bothers you then errm.., We don't just arrange things willy nilly either so as our title says you will need patience.. If we want to wait for the perfect couple in the perfect location for the perfect meet then hey, that's our lookout.. Tried replying but i don't think they get the message as we're still getting them. (idiot.) Or usernames containing killer/driller/filler/spiller/destroyer/voyeur/raper/reaper/raptor/donkey/ honky/rumpy/pumpy/cock/rock/ suck/fuck/cuck/cunt/hunt/gunt/runt/shit/spit/clit/hit/dom/piss/jizz/9"/10"11"/12"/dong/schlong/milf/dilf/filth/spunk/trunk/worm/germ/voyeur/lawyer/ etc you get the idea with that.. And fellas, don't keep sending us a message saying been a long time, or long time no speak, there's obviously a reason for that.. You could be the most amazing couple but if you keep all your clothes in black bin bags forget it. We also appreciate correct grammar so if you don't talk proper like what we do we'll bypass your message..

Although we've been to Bristol Gardens (lovely), Kestrels spa (noisily relaxing) and The Paradise Club (Boscombe chapter),(forgive me lord for i have sinned) We're not late night party people so appreciate all the invites to Ab Fabs/Secrets/Chams/Gems/Liberation (wet dream edition)/Decs and of course Donkey Dicks which i'm sure are all lovely but we'd just be dozing in the dark room, we are however both fully laundered and come from a smoke and pet free home and are totally stain free but we havn't got a clue what we are doing, we're just making it up as we go along.. Know it's not everyone's cup of tea but its ours right now.. Also we NO LONGER MEET SINGLE GUYS (sorry for shouting but don't think they hear us) but that's no detriment to the ones we've met previously who were all gentleman, feel free to keep in touch tho'.. No more messages from (user no longer on site) either please, who is is this person? You've got them all foaming at the gash havn't you? We are looking for messages of extra ordinary magnitude. And come on fellas, get the mrs to do a bit of housework and pick up those dirty socks/straighten that picture above the fireplace/unstick the underwear from the wall before taking any pics, not the most flattering backdrop it has to be said. ) but we look more at the cleanliness of the room you're in than how hot you both look! "Dirty house = filthy stinking couple with drinking problems" (no they don't).

That and driving to work the next morning with your car looking like a plasterer's radio.. If i had a penny for every time we're asked..(i'd have £1.23p). We are on the South coast, you could be in a place far, far away, take a quick look at a map before saying you'll pop round or you don't mind driving for the "right" people, this is a local profile for local people, we'll have no trouble here..

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