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Noo pit the video doon an get oota mah hoose afore ah take this cleaver tae yer haw maws ya wee burglin' bastart"Noun: The boss; the person in charge; the head honcho; top banana ; big dog ; chief ; el jefe ; the man ; High Heid Yin; top of the food chain etc etc etc. picture the following conversation: Caller: Hello, ah'd like tae speak tae the Top Banana. Example: Wummin 1: hallo, Missis Mac , how's your wee Shagger gettin oan? To cough up phlegm, especially thick green mucus from the throat. " CJ swerrs he heard a wummin fae Cardonald shoutin' "Right up your jook" while singin alang wi "The Wild Rover". alright - for you Murcans - candy) As far as the writer is aware, this is a hardish, jelly covered with sugar. Please feel free to bombard the forum with corrections pointing out all the things that I got wrong...

Note - there are only ever Heid Bummers - there are never any subordinate bummers, or even just bummers. Receptionist: Eh'm sorry but the Top Banana is in a meeting.. Mrs Mac: Oh rerr, at's him the Heid Bummer at the Parly noo... vomit (rhyming slang from Hilda Gronk) "Ah wis gonny go in furra Chic Murray last night but thir wis a big Hilda on the pavement ootside the kebab shoap. "Ah wis sittin oan the bus yesterday when ah sudenly noticed they'd done away wi the signs that used tae say "No Spitting". I promise to give each and every one the same amount of attention, so please feel free to post your thoughts...

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Sind Sie einverstanden, die Identität dieser Frauen geheim zu halten?

Show consisted of a shite children's film, usually wi Hayley Mills in it, some cartoons, an a crap serial like "Attack o' the unconvincing robots".

To go up and down to every house in the district....usually used when one is seeking another... One with an over-inflated opinion of their own importance. Example: Ignore him, wi his big BMW an his swimmin pool. 1) Great, brilliant - as in : "Thon wis the berries!

pronounced Baw Heed may also be used adjectivally: Ba'heidit Example: Heh! " 2) Annual holiday in Blairgowrie - the berry picking season.

Sometimes spelled "hairy" Example: Young Lady: Naw, ah'm no gettin inty nae threesome wi you an yer mate! The best thing about the word jubejube / jujube is the marvellous expression it gives us: Any futile exercise; anything which involves an inordinate amount of work for very little return.

Like feedin' jujubes tae an elephant Verb: to know, understand Used by carrot-crunchers*, bumpkins** and a few teuchters*** who are insufficiently edumacated to realise that despite all best efforts to bring Scots kicking and screaming into the twentieth, never mind the twenty-first century, there are some usages that should be quitely euthanased. Due to high male unemployment, and the easy availability of women's jobs (cheaper labour) in the mills, many men stayed at home whilst the women worked.

Choose from a variety of wean eatin monsters and nippy wee bastarts: notably, broon an black Bull Terriers (pick a breed, thir aw the same) Thae hideously ugly white an pink wans wi the pointy noses Jack Russels (sorry tae youse wans thit huv thum but here thir Ned's dugs) Rotweillers Big Doberman lookin things wi broon herr that look like some specialist breed an OBVIOUSLY came fae stolen puppies. May be blunt or sharp, can include razors, lead pipes, bits of wood with nails hammered in, Stanley knives, etc... Possibly the main feature that these will have in common is that a chib is something which has been adopted for use as a weapon, possibly with ingenious modifications, rather than something originally designed for that purpose. One who has been subjected to attack with a chib is said to have been chibbed.

So a survivalist knife with a 10-inch blade wi the wee jaggy bits (What ur they fur anyway? Examples: Hey, did ye see that pigeon chibbin that seagull wi the Irn Bru boattle?

Ah'm no sayin it's a rough pub, but if the chucker-oot frisks ye an disnae fun a chib, he gies ye wan!

The worst, the VERY WORST insult you can give a Scots woman is to call her a cow.

Minkers from all over Scotland gather together to pick the berries and get pished a lot.

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