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Being kind and having good manners also helps.” Read: 10 things married couples won’t tell you The study may help people understand why the advertising industry (and society) puts so much emphasis on women being thin, “part of which is driven by pressure to attract a partner,” Frederick says.

And it may also throw light on why men strive so aggressively for higher income and assertively negotiate for raises, “because income affects not only their ability to pay for dates but also their likelihood of attracting a partner.” The fashion industry rarely focuses on advertising clothes to plus-size women and one major Harvard University study recently found that men are four times more likely to negotiate pay than women.

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“And that’s hopeful because it allows for physical imperfections — not the unattainable physical flawlessness we’re bombarded with every day in the media,” she says.

But what people want and what they actually get are two different things.

“What really surprised us was just how substantial this difference was between men and women,” says David Frederick, assistant professor in health psychology at Chapman University and a co-author of the study.

The study was conducted by researchers at Chapman University in Orange, Calif., and is due to be published in the January 2016 edition of the peer-reviewed academic journal “Personality and Individual Differences.” The researchers interviewed people in an online questionnaire about qualities they find important in a partner.

“This is a study of what determines the qualities one is looking for in a mate,” says Roger Friedland, visiting professor of media, culture and communication at New York University, who has studied the behavior of American college students.

“It does not study who they actually mate with, the way they mate with them or the quality of the relationships they found,” Friedland said.“I don’t think this is superficial at all,” says Jacqueline Whitmore, the founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach.“Speaking as a woman, most women of a certain age want security, but we also want someone who doesn’t look, act and dress like a troll.Frederick says heterosexuals compete with members of the same sex to secure a romantic partner.“People with desirable traits are in a position to be more selective,” he says.But even these theories may not be so flattering for singletons in 2015.

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